Is anyone really all that excited about the Academy Awards this year?

As usual, we at the Kellar Estate aren’t exactly scheduling our lives around watching the event Sunday night.

It is not that we don’t enjoy movies, we do. It is just the majority of the films which are considered worthy enough for Oscar nods are those which we a) haven’t seen yet or b) find not exactly to our liking.

Of the five films nominated for “Best Picture” for example, our family has seen ... wait a minute, let me double check ... um ... none of them.

I am sure they are all truly fine movies, it is just they lack those certain qualities the Kellar Family searches for when deciding whether to spend $8 per person for Saturday night, $4 per person for the Sunday matinee, $5 for the DVD rental, or the cable bill to catch it on HBO.

I, of course, prefer a minimum amount of gunfire, explosions and mayhem. Vida normally leans toward those motion pictures which are so scary they keep her awake for the next week or whose titles include the words Harry and Potter. Nick normally avoids most films which don’t include at least one scene of a drumline or marching band. Jaylynn’s attention is usually drawn to anything animated or which includes harrowing scenes involving wild animals.

As none of our favorite motion pictures from the past year made it into the ranks of the Academy Awards, we will probably not be watching the ceremonies.

Then again, as we all know, there was nothing in theaters during 2006 which came close to the excitement, adventure, drama and comedy which can be found each day at the Kellar Estate.

So, with this in mind, we once again venture down to the Kellar Family Multiplex for a look at what’s currently on screen:

Theater One

“Idlewild” — The moments right before and right after Vida’s daycare opens for business each morning.

Theater Two

“Babel” — What greets me as I descend the stairs each morning and am greeted by the children who attend Vida’s daycare business.

Theater Three

“Little Children” — See Theaters One and Two above.

Theater Four

“Happy Feet” — The spontaneous activity which breaks out among the daycare kids whenever there is a commercial on television/it is lunch time/it is nap time/it is snack time/it is time to drive Miss Vida crazy.

Theater Five

“Flushed Away” — My chances of using the one small restroom at the Estate as the daycare kids line up right before nap time.

Theater Six

“Monster House” — See Theaters One through Five above.

Theater Seven

“The Queen” — Vida, as in The Queen of (fill in the blank).

Theater Eight

“Barnyard” — A riveting account of the daily lives of Millie the Vicious Spaniel-Mix Poochhound and her two feline friends, Angie and Farnsworth, as they rule the roost at the Kellar Estate.

Theater Nine

“The Good Shepherd” — Myself, as I take the above animals for their nightly walks around the grounds of the Estate.

Theater Ten

“Superman Returns” — How I feel each night, as I walk in the door to be greeted by the ones I love.

Theater Eleven (double feature)

“The Pursuit of Happyness”/”Stranger Than Fiction” — The inside stories of life at the Estate.

And now, may I have the envelopes please?

Best Choreography— Vida, as she balances her daycare, classes at school, home life and watching over all of us.

Best Achievement in Music — Nick, for winning his dream spot with a drum corps.

Best Picture — Jaylynn, for the constant artistic creations which fill my briefcase and line my desk, all of which say, “I love you Daddy.”

Best Original Screenplay — Me, of course, once again, for the continuing story of my life with all of these other characters.

See you at the movies.

Just a thought ...

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